On purpose

As one who left her country for higher education, which followed on to years of work experience overseas, the return home naturally came with a strong desire to "give back". Having been here for about six months now, the challenge has been to define what giving back actually looks like, and balancing that with the "why" of our return.

The obvious way that I envisaged to give back to the country was to be employed in Samoa, in either the private or public sector. That would mean getting taxed here, and contributing to the development of the country, not only financially but also by contributing my professional skills. This has not been the reality though. The path that God has provided means I still work a New Zealand company, and pay tax to New Zealand. As a remotely working contractor, I sit in my own office and contribute nothing to the development of local knowledge in my professional field. That has been somewhat of a challenge. For someone who is a doer, my natural desire is to go out there and do something. I don't know what, but something. 

My contract was due to end today, 28th June 2019. My prayer has been that God would close this door, should it not be His will that I continue that path. My prayer was answered, but not in the way that I expected. My contract was extended for another six months, with a guarantee of all flights paid for any meetings I needed to attend in Auckland. This was amidst a restructure in the company, and many facing uncertainty of their future there. I know that this is what I am meant to do now, and this has brought me peace. My flesh still burns at times to "be useful to your country", but God has told me that He did not bring me back here to pay taxes, and His purposes are higher. He reminded me of the expectation that was put on Jesus to deliver Israel from the Romans, but His mission was far greater and his goal was eternal deliverance, the deliverance of a person's spirit.

The other way that I had planned to give back to Samoa was to be at the grassroots. I thought to myself, I should be in the outbacks helping people in whatever way I can. In my head, the best way I could contribute was to seek out the poor and needy. But again, what God had planned for me has been significantly different. He gave me a vision of me having coffee with different people, in cafes. As well as that, he has provided so many openings to spend time and fellowship with people one would consider privileged. My intention to be at the grassroots, coupled with my natural introverted personality, did not sit well with this social butterfly plan of God's. I wanted to be in His mission field, I wanted to be hands-on. How can I sit here having coffees in an air-conditioned cafe when someone out at kua needed me? But God in His grace told me to take two seats, and to remember that His ways are higher. In my limited human brain, my plans do make sense and do end in success. But in order to glorify God, the best thing I could do was to simply do what He asked me to. To have coffee with people who seemed to have good jobs and nice things. "Those are my children too", He told me. "Are you able to love them?"

So that is where I currently stand. I have not abandoned hope of working with the less fortunate of society, for if that is where God tells me to go tomorrow, then that is where I will be (after much whining to God). But for now, whomever God brings across my path, whether at the English-speaking church we attend, or at a cafe, or at Bible study, or at the beach, my purpose right now is to share with them the love of God, through time, food, money or whatever else God has given me to do His will and glorify His name.